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your posts describe your broken picker to a tee. Any time you instantly want to make some one your boyfriend no matter what they do or say, and only because you've set eyes on them that's a recipe for disaster. Let's face it: that's a relationship based on looks. And you write that is instant and binary for you. That should be another clue of what to toss out when you are making a new list of standards for some one to date you. don't give your heart away so freely or take an all consuming interest in some one no matter what the hormones tell you. I think you are in a great place to brainstorm how you are going to repair your picker. Sometimes the ideas of "what to look for" are born from the list of "what NOT to look for" in a person. Start doing the opposite of what you've been doing (or least do things differently.) 
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1. Ditch the phone monitoring. WTH? I absolutely cannot fathom invading my husband's privacy in such a way, it is disrespectful and deceitful. 2. No matter how much you protest that you're cool with porn I think you need to own the fact the you really aren't. You know how you feel, stop with the "I don't know how I feel." What you're really saying is, "I'm pissed off, but I don't want to seem like a prude about porn." Stop trying to be "cool" about it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be using terms like "caught him" or feeling the need to monitor his phone usage. 3. This isn't about YOU. Stop thinking you can "fix" him, and stop taking his porn as a personal challenge to provide him with such a level of stimulation that he doesn't need porn. You're competing with a fantasy how silly is that? And you NEVER win. Personally, I think his constant access of the porn on his phone is a bit much. An addict? I don't know. I'd say he was close, if he wasn't over the line, yet, but I don't know the dynamic of y'alls sexual life to really judge. Is his porn affecting the quality/quantity of sex between you two? I DO know that porn IS highly addictive simply because of the stimulation that it provides for the pleasure centers in the, so if someone has an addictive personality to begin with, it's possible that he's "addicted" to porn. Porn addiction is a tough nut to crack. With porn addictions, men (and sometimes women) discover that they cannot masturbate without the visual images the more and more extreme dopamine production that becomes common while watching porn becomes a necessary element in arousal. However, you need to be clear: What do YOU want out of all of this? Are you just worried about the amount of porn he's watching? Is his preoccupation with porn affecting the amount of sex you are, or are not, getting? Can you say, "I feel like you are getting most of your sexual stimulation from your phone instead of from me, and I am tired of competing with your Android." Are his phone charges for porn becoming oppressive? You need to figure out what it is that you REALLY want to change before you approach your husband. Good luck. 
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